Enjoying the peace while I still have nothing to do...

I love reading friend's blogs and being touched and inspired to remember I have my own to write on, too.

Today has just been a happy day! I heard in lecture today that a key ingredient to living a long life is optimism. Yesterday, our pastor quoted a scripture about making one's language and conversation full of grace and seasoned with salt so that we can be wise in how we act towards others and make the most out of every opportunity. How can you not automatically want to just change everything to be more optimistic after that? How can you not stop to look at the words you say and want every utterance to be so fully saturated in grace and love that you just smile without a real cause?

I've come to find that the words we say have a lot of influence over how we are, and not the other way around. I have noticed in just this short time that when I turn words around to be more graceful, more loving, more honoring and respectful, and begin to see everything around me that is good, great, grand! The bad things just suddenly seem not so bad or permanent. Get this- the bad situations have their good, too! Blessing begin to have more richness, burdens have less weight.

I guess what I am really saying is... I have so much rich blessings, I am ecstatic! I look at pictures of my future stepdaughter and my fiance, and my heart fills with joy! I look at my friends (new and old) and think about all our wonderful talks and coffee dates, and just smile and get a little giggle going. I think of my history with Liisa, April, and Kelli from sixth grade until now; my friends from every stage of life that I still hold dear; and I think of my new ones Devon, Kelsey, Brianne, and Christina and think of how God truly provided each one. I think of my family, how wonderful they truly are! My schooling, my excitement for my future marriage and the adventures along the way. I understand what a gush-fest this all is, but I really can't comprehend the complete fullness this all brings me!

God has provided each step, each step shows how much he deeply knows me, and each moment reveals a great intricate plan that no one could create more perfectly.

Today, a smile will be on my face, ear to ear. Not because of what is ahead of me, but because of what I have. Nothing could be sweeter!

A Sudden Burst!!!

Lately (as in the last few years, on and off, and lately worse) I have been like a grandma in the area of my energy levels. I have to be in bed usually around 10:30 or 11 at the latest, and have to pull myself out of bed to get somewhere on time. And I always have that afternoon lull that reminds me of the 5-hour energy shots commercial. But, MIRACLE! It began yesterday, with no afternoon lull! THEN I couldn't get myself to want to sleep until 1:30 am because I was wanting to do my nails and watch Gossip Girl and clean and read and... everything that I'm usually too tired for. THEN, THEN I woke up naturally at 7:30, ready to go! Lets go to the gym, get ready, blah blah blah! Thank you, my Jesus, for energy! I attribute it to my upped commitment to the gym, eating a more yummy and balanced diet, not eating really any sugary desserts (like cookies and ice cream) or too much bad carbs, etc... UPGRADE!

And four months later...

Holy cannoli! Its been 4 months since I remembered I actually had a blog. Last time I wrote, I was newly engaged- yay! Shortly after, Rob and I were separated for our summer jobs until the end of August. A long summer it was! He visited in July and I flew down to Boise at the very end of the season. I missed Rob, and I missed Moscow, which is amazing in itself.

Well, now school has started. I am taking a very full load (19 credits, soon to be 20), and interning, and practically going home or somewhere new every weekend. We will be on-the-go constantly until November. (The rest of this post is boring, so you may quit reading now if you'd like)

Family is in town, and there's nothing I love more than being with my family. So this weekend we are going home in hopes to see Nanny, and next week after that, the Kaiser (mom's) side is visiting! I haven't seen them in a few years, and I am so excited to see them. They are coming down to Moscow on the 2nd, and I will go home with them the next day.

Our amazing friends, Kelsey and JT are getting married in October and Rob is in the wedding party. Upside- SEATTLE! Downside- I'll only be there for less than 24 hours. Bummer. I LOVE Sea-town! I cannot wait for their wedding. This group of friend has grown to be one of great support for myself, Rob, and our relationship. Fun fun FUN times to come!

After that, its Miss Princess Abigail's third birthday! We are going down to Boise the weekend after the wedding to see the birthday girl, and my parents are meeting Rob's.

And of course, when we aren't away for the weekend, we are (and will be) busy with FARMER'S MARKET every saturday, and homework, football games, and hanging out with our super awesome friends, Alissa and Chad. I love Farmer's Market, and sad it only lasts until the end of October, but I cherish every moment of it that I can!

Wow, crazy weeks ahead. I love being busy, but I also like having moments of quiet. I am looking forward to when I can have my Super Clean Saturdays and Lazy Sundays, but at the moment, I love the excitement of it all! ;)

XOXO!

He must have liked it 'cause he put a ring on it!

Our FAVORITE picture!

Holy crap. I woke up this morning, with a ring on "the" finger, and all I could say was "Holy CRAP!"

As a girl (and a VERY girly girl at that), I dreamt about this moment and my wedding more times than I could count. Seriously. Every 6 months my future bridesmaids list would lose or gain a friend, my colors have (at one time) been the entire rainbow, and my dresses went from short to long, fat to sleek, ivory or white, cap-sleeved to spaghetti strap to sleeveless, beaded to plain, and back again.

I never thought about what I really expected the engagement to be like though, and I don't think I can explain that feeling I had inside when it finally happened. It was really nothing hugely over done, but it couldn't have been more perfect.

I love being outdoors and seening awesome sights! Since we've been stuck in yucky Moscow, there's not too much of that. When I arrived in Boise on Thursday, I was very vocal about the fact that I did not want to stay cooped up in his house doing homework and such, and that I wanted to go do things (and I was thinking specifically hiking). So last night (Saturday) as we were getting Abbie ready to go back to her mom, he mentioned going up to Table Rock on the east side of Boise. Of course I was nothing more than excited! I had the slightest idea that maybe he was going to propose, but kept talking myself out of it so i wouldn't be disappointed. So we dropped Miss Precious off, hopped in the Jeep, and began driving and he showed me parts of Boise. When we got up there, I was secretly looked for my friend Alissa's (a close Boise native friend from school who wanted to be there when it happened. And I wanted her to be too, to take pics) car to tip me off! When I didn't see her car, I figured this wasn't it, and was totally cool with it.

As we pulled up, there was this huge group of teenagers hanging out. Not ideal to enjoy an incredible view. So, he took me down these little boulders to a trail to leads to under the large plateau. The view was AMAZING! We just stood there with our arms around each other and talked. He asked me "So how does our future look?" Being sarcastic as ever, I said "Well, good from up here!" We then talked about how it would be for me to live in Boise away from my family, and if I was ready to be a stepmom. As I told him how much I love Abbie and already view her as my stepdaughter, he pulled away from me, turned to face me, and got down on one knee!

Tears instantly flooded and my face turned red and I couldn't say anything! Well... Besides YES! He was so nervous that when we went to put the ring on my finger, he grabbed for the wrong hand! So cute, and he made me laugh. :) I was so shaky, I couldn't hold my phone to take a picture, couldn't answer my sister's phone call, and kept hanging up on her!

I am so blessed. I love this man with every thing I am, and cannot wait to be his wife!

Tear-and-mascara soaked face, and a perma-smile!

My 3-stone 2.3 CARAT diamond ring!

Money Money Mooooneeeeyyy!

... Or my lack of it. Ha! I always seem to run out of "funding" at the end of each semester, praying and hoping that they days between now and my next chunk of grant money will be quick and painless. Then the wheel begins to run on what I owe, how much, and when it must be paid. Then I think about how I need to save it for when I graduate and get married and have to move.

Oh the days when I was 5 and didn't worry about all this crap. Those days were awesome.

But come to think of it, its not so bad. I haven't been the smartest kid with money, but I haven't been the stupidest either. I'm lucky in a sense, because when I look back I see that whenever I've been in a financial pinch, God has always had my back. Granted he's made me sweat it out a bit, but I think overall, I am slightly wiser and at a point where I can pull myself out of it with a little help. Another little lesson in grace and God's ability to work on me through it.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:19

I hope all is well with you, and for a joyful and peaceful rest of your week!

XOXO,

Alaina

Yo, Mama!

Holy Moses! Almost a year since I've written on here. Just shows it was a CRAZY year! But in the present happening, I must give a shout-out ("Hi, MOM!") before I go on to the nitty-gritty... I mean, the events of the year...

I think you all know my mom, and that we haven't always had the greatest of moments (I think when I was 13, she really might have wanted to send me somewhere. I wouldn't blame her). But over the years, she has become a great strength to me, someone I can go to for practical advice and to hear a joke or two. She proves to me that she really does know who I am deep down, and that she knows exactly what I want to hear. She's a great support, and I love my Mama! Happy Mother's Day!

So, almost exactly a year ago, I quit my bank job and took a month break (so needed!) before I started work at Gozzer Ranch as a camp counselor. Working there provided the busiest, craziest, most fun and adventure-filled summer I could dream up in CDA. I met some super awesome people, hung out with some fun kids, and learned to wake board and wake surf. I spent the whole summer outside and I am stoked to do it again!

Right after the last day of Gozzer (literally, the very next day), I moved to Moscow, Idaho to continue my education at U of I. God has totally blessed me in this area of my life and I am so happy where I am in my education and the great plans God has for them! Through this, He has filled my life with amazing supportive people who really believe in me, push me to grow

deeper in my learning, and I am a better person because of it.

I finally got to a place where I didn't want a relationship and was totally content on where I stood in this area of my life. Cue Rob. It was the first day of class, in the first class (7:30 am! Yikes!) and as I walked in I saw some emo dude flirting with the professor. He caught my eye simply because he was a guy dressed in all black, with a beard, in a classroom full of girls... And he talked a lot. Right after class I went to work at the Bagel Shop and who walks in? Rob. Come to find out, we also go to the same church, work almost every shift together and have class together every day. At first he thought I was the annoying new girl and I thought he was a jerk. But with my magical and unobservant ways, I had him asking me out by the end of the day- which I didnt realize at first. He kept asking until a week later we went on our first date. And, voi-la! We started dating and it has been 9 months. We couldn't be happier! (Plus: his baby girl, Abbie, is an incredible joy in my life! God has filled my life with love, an ever-growing ability to love, and there is no

way I can ever repay Him!)

Precious Miss Abbie!

This summer I am heading home and continuing with summer session (12 credits. Lord, help me!), working at Gozzer, and looking forward to spending a lot of free time with my amazing family, catching up with my dear friends, training for half-marathons (goal!), and helping out with Think Pink, Inc. (http://www.thinkpinkboise.com/). Rob will be down in southern Idaho working at a YMCA camp as a director. 3.5 months apart! It will be hard, but we know we can do it!

Well, blah blah blah, I know, but thank you so much for reading! I love you all, and thank my family and friends for their love and support.

XOXO,

Alaina

My crazy amazing friend, Karyn, is trying to sleep but i keep sending her texts, which she patiently replies to each one. She's a trooper. But they are somehow getting shorter and shorter each time she replies. Cant really blame her too much. 

Her last text simply said, "Its hard to give grace when you are hurting." 

Touche. 

This last week has been a bit hard, my emotions have been fiercely hit. But tonight I forgot to give that one person I know who really needs a break and a huge portion of grace and instead probably hurt them even more, which sucks a lot.

And what strikes me as a bit funny, a little ironic, and largely sad is that today at my meeting with my mentor, as we were going over a few Psalms and Proverbs, she reminded me that we can feel anger but choose grace. And God delights in that. He has called us to that... As part of the, you know, "love your neighbor as yourself" golden rule.

So, you have an emotion that mostly you create (or a reaction to a situation), but He gives us the choice of truth (and action from the situation). Really, its our call. As His follower, we are called to honor Him in these daily, and often minute-by-minute, decisions.

Reading in the Psalms and Proverbs really gives you a bitter-sweet appreciation for these times when we feel all of these emotions that are not always necessarily valid. It brings me a great heap of humility (which I often need- He knows me so very well). It draws my efforts to more of a dependancy on His strength by showing me how weak I am. And it gives me an insight and focus on the areas that we need to work on within me to better live in His will (like GRACE and confidence in His love)

Painful, but refreshing.

I am reminded that my imperfections are OK, that He loves me right where I am. I dont need to be like "her" to be loved (because I already am), and I dont need to be like "her" to be satisfied or confident (because only He really satisfies and should be my confidence). 

A few days ago, as i was driving and praying to God what was on my heart, I was asked if I knew He loved me. I said yes. Then, in an answer just as simple as Karyn's text, He said, "I always provide for the ones I love." Thats all I needed to hear. And what grace that He gave me! I dont deserve it, yet He always provides it.

So, now its time to go out and learn how to give this grace when I'd rather be angry, and to wait on His timing to bless me with these things on my heart which only He can satisfy.