He must have liked it 'cause he put a ring on it!

Our FAVORITE picture!

Holy crap. I woke up this morning, with a ring on "the" finger, and all I could say was "Holy CRAP!"

As a girl (and a VERY girly girl at that), I dreamt about this moment and my wedding more times than I could count. Seriously. Every 6 months my future bridesmaids list would lose or gain a friend, my colors have (at one time) been the entire rainbow, and my dresses went from short to long, fat to sleek, ivory or white, cap-sleeved to spaghetti strap to sleeveless, beaded to plain, and back again.

I never thought about what I really expected the engagement to be like though, and I don't think I can explain that feeling I had inside when it finally happened. It was really nothing hugely over done, but it couldn't have been more perfect.

I love being outdoors and seening awesome sights! Since we've been stuck in yucky Moscow, there's not too much of that. When I arrived in Boise on Thursday, I was very vocal about the fact that I did not want to stay cooped up in his house doing homework and such, and that I wanted to go do things (and I was thinking specifically hiking). So last night (Saturday) as we were getting Abbie ready to go back to her mom, he mentioned going up to Table Rock on the east side of Boise. Of course I was nothing more than excited! I had the slightest idea that maybe he was going to propose, but kept talking myself out of it so i wouldn't be disappointed. So we dropped Miss Precious off, hopped in the Jeep, and began driving and he showed me parts of Boise. When we got up there, I was secretly looked for my friend Alissa's (a close Boise native friend from school who wanted to be there when it happened. And I wanted her to be too, to take pics) car to tip me off! When I didn't see her car, I figured this wasn't it, and was totally cool with it.

As we pulled up, there was this huge group of teenagers hanging out. Not ideal to enjoy an incredible view. So, he took me down these little boulders to a trail to leads to under the large plateau. The view was AMAZING! We just stood there with our arms around each other and talked. He asked me "So how does our future look?" Being sarcastic as ever, I said "Well, good from up here!" We then talked about how it would be for me to live in Boise away from my family, and if I was ready to be a stepmom. As I told him how much I love Abbie and already view her as my stepdaughter, he pulled away from me, turned to face me, and got down on one knee!

Tears instantly flooded and my face turned red and I couldn't say anything! Well... Besides YES! He was so nervous that when we went to put the ring on my finger, he grabbed for the wrong hand! So cute, and he made me laugh. :) I was so shaky, I couldn't hold my phone to take a picture, couldn't answer my sister's phone call, and kept hanging up on her!

I am so blessed. I love this man with every thing I am, and cannot wait to be his wife!

Tear-and-mascara soaked face, and a perma-smile!

My 3-stone 2.3 CARAT diamond ring!

Money Money Mooooneeeeyyy!

... Or my lack of it. Ha! I always seem to run out of "funding" at the end of each semester, praying and hoping that they days between now and my next chunk of grant money will be quick and painless. Then the wheel begins to run on what I owe, how much, and when it must be paid. Then I think about how I need to save it for when I graduate and get married and have to move.

Oh the days when I was 5 and didn't worry about all this crap. Those days were awesome.

But come to think of it, its not so bad. I haven't been the smartest kid with money, but I haven't been the stupidest either. I'm lucky in a sense, because when I look back I see that whenever I've been in a financial pinch, God has always had my back. Granted he's made me sweat it out a bit, but I think overall, I am slightly wiser and at a point where I can pull myself out of it with a little help. Another little lesson in grace and God's ability to work on me through it.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:19

I hope all is well with you, and for a joyful and peaceful rest of your week!

XOXO,

Alaina

Yo, Mama!

Holy Moses! Almost a year since I've written on here. Just shows it was a CRAZY year! But in the present happening, I must give a shout-out ("Hi, MOM!") before I go on to the nitty-gritty... I mean, the events of the year...

I think you all know my mom, and that we haven't always had the greatest of moments (I think when I was 13, she really might have wanted to send me somewhere. I wouldn't blame her). But over the years, she has become a great strength to me, someone I can go to for practical advice and to hear a joke or two. She proves to me that she really does know who I am deep down, and that she knows exactly what I want to hear. She's a great support, and I love my Mama! Happy Mother's Day!

So, almost exactly a year ago, I quit my bank job and took a month break (so needed!) before I started work at Gozzer Ranch as a camp counselor. Working there provided the busiest, craziest, most fun and adventure-filled summer I could dream up in CDA. I met some super awesome people, hung out with some fun kids, and learned to wake board and wake surf. I spent the whole summer outside and I am stoked to do it again!

Right after the last day of Gozzer (literally, the very next day), I moved to Moscow, Idaho to continue my education at U of I. God has totally blessed me in this area of my life and I am so happy where I am in my education and the great plans God has for them! Through this, He has filled my life with amazing supportive people who really believe in me, push me to grow

deeper in my learning, and I am a better person because of it.

I finally got to a place where I didn't want a relationship and was totally content on where I stood in this area of my life. Cue Rob. It was the first day of class, in the first class (7:30 am! Yikes!) and as I walked in I saw some emo dude flirting with the professor. He caught my eye simply because he was a guy dressed in all black, with a beard, in a classroom full of girls... And he talked a lot. Right after class I went to work at the Bagel Shop and who walks in? Rob. Come to find out, we also go to the same church, work almost every shift together and have class together every day. At first he thought I was the annoying new girl and I thought he was a jerk. But with my magical and unobservant ways, I had him asking me out by the end of the day- which I didnt realize at first. He kept asking until a week later we went on our first date. And, voi-la! We started dating and it has been 9 months. We couldn't be happier! (Plus: his baby girl, Abbie, is an incredible joy in my life! God has filled my life with love, an ever-growing ability to love, and there is no

way I can ever repay Him!)

Precious Miss Abbie!

This summer I am heading home and continuing with summer session (12 credits. Lord, help me!), working at Gozzer, and looking forward to spending a lot of free time with my amazing family, catching up with my dear friends, training for half-marathons (goal!), and helping out with Think Pink, Inc. (http://www.thinkpinkboise.com/). Rob will be down in southern Idaho working at a YMCA camp as a director. 3.5 months apart! It will be hard, but we know we can do it!

Well, blah blah blah, I know, but thank you so much for reading! I love you all, and thank my family and friends for their love and support.

XOXO,

Alaina

My crazy amazing friend, Karyn, is trying to sleep but i keep sending her texts, which she patiently replies to each one. She's a trooper. But they are somehow getting shorter and shorter each time she replies. Cant really blame her too much. 

Her last text simply said, "Its hard to give grace when you are hurting." 

Touche. 

This last week has been a bit hard, my emotions have been fiercely hit. But tonight I forgot to give that one person I know who really needs a break and a huge portion of grace and instead probably hurt them even more, which sucks a lot.

And what strikes me as a bit funny, a little ironic, and largely sad is that today at my meeting with my mentor, as we were going over a few Psalms and Proverbs, she reminded me that we can feel anger but choose grace. And God delights in that. He has called us to that... As part of the, you know, "love your neighbor as yourself" golden rule.

So, you have an emotion that mostly you create (or a reaction to a situation), but He gives us the choice of truth (and action from the situation). Really, its our call. As His follower, we are called to honor Him in these daily, and often minute-by-minute, decisions.

Reading in the Psalms and Proverbs really gives you a bitter-sweet appreciation for these times when we feel all of these emotions that are not always necessarily valid. It brings me a great heap of humility (which I often need- He knows me so very well). It draws my efforts to more of a dependancy on His strength by showing me how weak I am. And it gives me an insight and focus on the areas that we need to work on within me to better live in His will (like GRACE and confidence in His love)

Painful, but refreshing.

I am reminded that my imperfections are OK, that He loves me right where I am. I dont need to be like "her" to be loved (because I already am), and I dont need to be like "her" to be satisfied or confident (because only He really satisfies and should be my confidence). 

A few days ago, as i was driving and praying to God what was on my heart, I was asked if I knew He loved me. I said yes. Then, in an answer just as simple as Karyn's text, He said, "I always provide for the ones I love." Thats all I needed to hear. And what grace that He gave me! I dont deserve it, yet He always provides it.

So, now its time to go out and learn how to give this grace when I'd rather be angry, and to wait on His timing to bless me with these things on my heart which only He can satisfy.

True Change and a good growth

So, lately I've been kinda confronted (not entirely intentionally, mostly by my own realizations) on my own idiosyncrasies and things that dont only need to be changed, but must be changed. 

I all the sudden find it super hard to leave my past as just my past and not try to hold on to the idea that I can change inside and alter my actions, but now I see that I have to completely forget and turn away (more like run) from anything and everything i use to do, where I use to go, and now I'm beginning to know that that sometimes also means the people.  

It puts a pit in my stomach to walk from the things I use to enjoy, but a comfort to know that I am walking toward the one thing I know I can always love and in return always be loved in. 

For those who have yet to see this side of me, let me tell you how unforgiving and punishing I can be of myself. I am constantly getting upset at the things I've done or what I said or decisions I've made. So, in an effort to psychotically realign myself, I will say this in the proverbial mirror : The past is the past, and nothing will change what happened in it. But you have changed and will continue to. This change is first to build the relationship between you and the Lord that once only seemed. Second, it is for you and the life you want to live. Third, it is for others... to help them not walk down that road, to love them and accept them (something I find very hard a lot of times) unmendible for where they are and to help them to get to where they want and need to be. 

So for those I love, and know... I look back on any wrongs I've done, decisions I poorly or ignorantly made, and a life i selfishly lived and say sorry. I've at times been a hypocrite and unfair and a poor example.

An overwhelming moment

My grades are less than satisfactory, homework is piling up.
My boss is a drama king.
My family feels a tad naggy with "where are you?" and "when are you going to...?".
Agh... I pray for balance and for peace, with hope that one day it will be peaceful and still, even for just a moment.
I feel pulled in several different directions and there are moments where I am so worn out, not knowing what task to do first, that I just sit and space away or go where my friends are and forget it all.
Its a tug-of-war in my mind between the things I want to do and the things I need to do, with the most important always seeming to lose.
I long to feel His touch and hug and kiss... To easy my mind and sooth my soul. To bring peace to the longings of my heart and patience to my mind in the waiting of things to come. I long for the focus to complete the tasks at hand which He has set me on. In this peace, I pray for my eyes to widen, my heart to open, and my soul to become still long enough to simply sit in peace and breath in His grace and beauty, simplicity and complexity, to soak in everything my mind could possibly fathom of His awesomeness... Ahh, yeah...
Back to work I go...

MMMMM! Do you smell that?!

It smells like spring outside!  Well, I know that its only temporary and that winter will resume in a few short days, but I will savor it while I have it!

Is it just me or does it seem like my hunger for God is apeezed during the winter months, but it always seems to grow more and more as I see more sun and feel warmer air. I cant explain it, but I'd like to break this cycle. Maybe its because of the lack of real sun or the sheer  frustration of having to drive in this grossness. Who knows, but I do know that I dont want to seek Him only  seasonally. 

All I want to do right now (besides snowboard, bake or clean) is go to Quemblin Park with my dog, climb a bit, and just sit there and look at the prettiness of what was created for our enjoyment. 

God is GOOD!!!!