I... Am... In... LOVE!

I get butterflies in my stomach, a rush of adrenaline, and a little nauseous because I'm so excited about my new love: Snowboarding! I couldn't get enough of it yesterday. In fact, I want to go again today and on my days off and next weekend. Blisters, bruises, sore muscles & joints and all... 

Its uncomfortable for me to be out of my comfort zone.

Tomorrow (or today) I am going snowboarding! YAY! Granted, last time i went was 10 years ago and I was surrounded by all of my closest girlfriends who didn't know how to board as well... And I will look like a complete idiot going with a bunch of people who seem to live on the mountains meaning I will likely be stranded on my own on the bunny hill...

BUT WHO CARES?! I'm going boarding! I loved it the first time and I am sure I still will. This is where I begin to think of things like "Oh my, my room is a mess. I should stay home and clean." Or "Bills have to be paid. I better stay home and pay them."or the classic "What if he wrecks the car on our way then I die?" Looking back at the fears I often use to rationalize the fact that I want to do so many thing, yet always find reasons not to actually do them... They are pretty silly and I find myself laughing at myself on the inside. 

God has not created us to live out of fear, but to LIVE a life of adventure, love, joy, risk and mostly faith. This is a little truth that is becoming bigger and more evident everyday as I trust him and faithfully step out of these comfort zones knowing that whatever the outcome, He will be there to catch me if it turns out bad, and there to guide my every step towards Him.

Jacob Suitter's Awesome List for Today...

Hi. My name is Jacob and I write about Awesome things in list form. 

Today I am not feeling particularly awesome, although I always am.

 So here is today's List (written by my best female friend-in-the-top-ten, Alaina)...

Awesome Things To Do in Winter:

1. Snow Piles.  Make one that is 20 feet high and climb it like Everest. 

2. Go Look at the Lights. And smile knowing that all the prettiness is draining a very rich man's wallet.

3. Give. Nothing puts a smile on my (Alaina's) face like seeing someone open an awesome gift from you. Bonus points if they're just as excited as you are!

4. Baking. And receiving baked goods (like Lindsey S.'s amazing cookies), or CUPCAKES.

5. Paid Holidays. Nothing more need be said besides:

 (Day Off + Still Making a Living) Family + Food= AWESOME!

6. Visitors. Its the highlight of the holidays when a friend or family member comes home for that glorious week after not seeing them for a long while.

7. Christmas Parties and White Elephants. Great friends and wine, plus funny stories about White Elephant gifts. Secret: Find a cohort to cheat the system so you both walk away with the most awesome gifts and then share. Even better if you're not a couple so then you can REALLY cheat the system.

A Recycled Post From October

Sometimes I wonder why I had to be made into a girl. I wonder why I had to be made with all these ramped emotions and a mind that never stops thinking about at least 3 things at once. But while I seem to have every thought and every emotion running through my head, I still feel numb to things that are deep. I feel shallow and empty. I know thats not me. All the things that God has painfully changed me from seem to be flooding back again and it scares me. My heart, for some reason I cannot find, seems to ignore Him or just chose to not seek Him. I know my life is pointless with out my Lord's love in it... And life could never fully reach its potential until it is no longer my own. I ache to feel His tug on these emotions- to make them His and grab hold of my heart again. I long to feel His unmistakeable touch and hear His comforting voice that puts everything to ease.

A little side note...

Today was my cousin Jeff's 27th birthday. As usual, we all gathered at my aunts house for a big dinner and to just hang out with each other, including my 1 1/2 year old cousin Carter and his big brother Byron (3 years old) who comes complete with a Montana-sized imagination.

So in the midst of dinner, Byron looks at me with his big blues and flash light in hand saying, "Hey laina, wanta go hunting?" No girl could resist. Me and the little poacher "caught" 3 deers.

As the night drew to a close with many laughs at this child's stories and vivid imagination, as well as watching him get clobbered in an argument by his substantially younger sibling, I ended up with a fishing date tomorrow as well as 5 minutes worth of "I LOVE YOU! OK, Bye!"'s...

Needless to say it was much needed (and very refreshing) to see a simple blessing that shows us just how much God designed us for joy, even in the midst of confusion, stress, sadness, and insecurity...

A little baby-sized revelation...

So I have been thinking lately... which the simple event itself usually gets me in trouble... About how often I compare myself to others. How then it leads to this self doubt of if I am good enough for this or that or this person and not another... Its really a crazy dizzying cycle that sometimes ends, but most often does not. It begins with the simple admiration of a personality (or physical) trait that I see in another, then slowly becomes a firm belief that that other individual is somehow more likable, lovable, or valuable than myself and I begin to largely see everything that I lack.

Well, now I say.... ENOUGH! Its truly a selfish habit and does no good to anyone including myself. Those doubts are lies- things that blind me from the many things that are amazing and true blessings from the One who loves me just the way He's made me. 

Instead of focusing on internal things that really are not important, why not focus on things that are? Such as... A deeper love and relationship with God- taking time to truly dig in a see things in a way I never have before. Or giving what I can to those who need it- like an ear to listen, or a hug to embrace... A coffee to someone who needs a boost or warmth... Prayer for those who hurt, long, ache, or just do not think they have any hope... Be someone to praise with when life gives blessings... Laughter to someone who cant think of a reason to smile... Encouragement to a broken spirit... Oh holy moses, the things we can give that do not even cost a penny are endless; If only we could look beyond ourselves for a brief moment to see the needs of those who surround us daily.

A sign or just another funny story...

Today I got in a little medium-sized fender bender downtown... Everything's good so no worries!

So i called my insurance 1-800 number to make a claim. The guy asks me my name and last name, you know, the usual protocol... Well after I give him such info, he very casually asks, "So Alaina, are you looking to loose some of that weight today?" I thought he was joking until he repeated his question after a very crass and unexpectedly prompt "What the ?!?!?!" from my end of the conversation. We then came to the conclusion that a mere disposition of two rather important numbers reaches a diet and weight loss help line/center... Not quite what I was needing...

Yet To Come...

One of my closest friends got hitched tonight (well, last night technically). Everything, down to the very hearts of the two saying their vows, was beautiful and totally touched by our Lord...

Usually weddings get me down a bit, but I walk away tonight excited. Mostly, excited for Scott and Liisa's awesome adventure ahead in life... For their marriage, their future family, their life... How blessed I feel to be a support to them! But i settle down tonight also excited for my adventure ahead. I am not selfishly depressed that I have not yet experienced what most of my friends have, but I am so stoked to begin that journey - that process of getting to know the heart and gain the love only known between you and God, and a man and his wife- and I know that, without a doubt, the Lord has it all planned and one day I will understand what He has created to exist in the hearts between a man and a woman made for one another. 

My prayer is this: That my love and devotion and adoration grows more for my Lord everyday... That I my marriage and the steps before, will be pleasing to Him and gain the overwhelming support of those I love and share life with like Liisa and Scott are so blessed with. 

The Lord is awesome, at all times...

So Blessed!

I was just thinking on my way home about a close friend of mine and the struggles they are going through... And how blessed I am to be a part of her life! I feel so honored to be someone to go to and be trusted with something so vulnerable as her heart. And a beautiful heart, too.

And then I just kind of took a step back and looked at all the people I trust with areas in my life that are so close to my heart, and now I'm convinced of so many things that I have been blind to...

Like, how ridiculously blessed I am to be given the family I have and all the friends that are such awesome pillars... How, beyond my understanding, I am able to meet all my financial needs... The fact that education is so available... And to top it off big time, the fact that no matter where I go and what I do, I am always loved beyond my comprehension and have every opportunity to give that love right back out to everyone. Words cannot describe. 

I was talking to this same friend on Sunday night... and the thought that stuck from our conversation was so true and simple that it comes back now with complete understanding: "When we quiet ourselves and let the Spirit fill us with out holding back anything, we are then able to be still and just know. And when we do this, those things about God and Our Lord that don't seem to make sense, somehow just do." There is such peace in that stillness.

What happened to all my brilliantness?

I use to have a blogspot way back in the day... I believe its www.alaina1984.blogspot.com... Its really kinda silly and I havent read it since I last wrote about 4 years ago...

I will be posting all my more recent blogs here soon.

Right now I'm too lazy... :)